📌 Breast cancer at the age of twenty nine
Since learning I have breast cancer, my family has been very strict about not letting me eat sweets. Forget ice cream, I can't even eat fruit. From the day of my diagnosis until completing six rounds of chemotherapy, I haven't touched ice cream for four months because I'm scared.
I'm afraid that eating it might affect the treatment's effectiveness, as they say. I'm afraid my mother will nag me constantly, and if the chemotherapy is ineffective, she'll definitely scold me for being disobedient and eating recklessly. She said a friend of hers died after eating sweets, which scared me so much that I'm afraid to touch them. So I'm very obedient. Even when I crave them, I resist. I'm only 29 years old. Honestly, it's been incredibly difficult for me. My world has lost its color. I can't even eat hot pot. Every meal is controlled by me. I can only eat steamed fish and pork.
I can't eat chicken because my mom and family say it's poisonous. I can't eat beef because my mom says it causes cancer. I can't eat seafood because my mom says it's very toxic. I really want to eat eggs, but I'm told they'll cause inflammation.
I know about protein, but I have no control over my diet because my mom owns the kitchen. I'm afraid that if I eat the wrong thing, my cancer treatment won't be successful. I haven't had curry noodles in a long time, not even my favorite wonton noodles. And, for my 29th birthday, I didn't even have a cake. I just lay in a cold bed, in a cold home.
I thought taking pictures with the cake would be fine, but my mom said the cake was too sweet and I couldn't eat it. She said I have to abstain from certain foods because I'm a cancer patient. I said I just wanted to blow out the candles and take pictures. I said you guys can eat it. But my mom says we won't eat sweets either, afraid it will cause cancer.
I'm so sad and helpless. My cancer seems to have brought misery to my whole family. My mom's anxiety puts so much pressure on me, it's suffocating. It's like the problem is entirely my fault. I'm waiting for surgery now. I'm so devastated. What did I do wrong? Is my world over?
Does having cancer mean I have no hope?
Will my life be like this from now on?
I'm suffocating. I want to die. I really don't want to live, I don't want surgery. Because the surgery will remove my breasts. I can't eat this, I can't do that. Even when the doctor said it needed to be removed, my mom kept bargaining with the doctor. I feel so ashamed. I feel terrible. I'm 29 years old. And my mom still has to take care of me. I have no choice, no voice. Who told me to have cancer, no job, and rely on my family? I almost have to apply for permission to breathe.
I see the food you post every time, it looks so delicious. Can't we really eat ice cream?
———————————— Every time I see inbox messages like this, my heart aches.
Just got up and went to Family Mart for an ice cream cone 🍦
So delicious, this dark Belgium sofuto 😋
I've been so stressed all day 😮💨😮💨😮💨
My breakfast and lunch were both very clean, right?
For dinner, I had laksa, which I'd been craving.
And I pampered myself with an ice cream cone.
Even though I'm supposed to reduce transfat, my daily quota
isn't over 250kcal. Although it lacks dietary fiber and vitamins,
it still has a little bit of protein, around 4g.
I don't eat it every day, and most importantly, I ate it with a happy and joyful feeling. I felt so happy! The feeling of being with ice cream is really great.
Honestly, I don't have the same level of psychological pressure as you.
If I were you, I would really go crazy from the pressure.
Those stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, would definitely rise,
and only rise, not fall. Is that good for your condition? Stress hormones can cause cancer, okay?
But I believe you're not the only one in this situation.
I think there are other people in this world in similar circumstances.
I really want to hug all the sisters who are going through this.
I just want to say that from your story, I can sense that you haven't had any joy at all. These past four months have been so tough for you.
Really, so incredibly tough 🥹🥹🥹 Hugs to you~
I'm so worried about you.
Please don't do anything foolish.
Look how tough six rounds of chemotherapy were, you still made it through.
Although you weren't happy at all during the process,
I believe it's hard for you to find any beautiful memories from this journey.
But you need to learn to relax first, okay?
You still need to have the surgery, okay?
I really want to meet this mother sometime. Would you feel like I'm being scolded? 😂😂😂 Let me give you a demo:
I told you not to corrupt my daughter! You can eat whatever you want and die, but don't come here to harm my daughter! If my daughter relapses, will you pay for her life? (This is just my preconceived notion, a self-introduction; I think I'll get a lot of flak for this 😂)
Who doesn't know, she's pushing her daughter into a fire pit too 🫣🫣🫣 If this continues, there's a real possibility of a relapse.
Every family has its own problems, but I hope you learn to love yourself first. Let your mom know you can take care of yourself first, then give yourself back to yourself and others back to others. While family is important, family that truly loves you will respect every decision you make and won't emotionally blackmail or morally blackmail you under the guise of "it's for your own good." So you must love yourself first before you can teach others how to love you.
Keep going! I've already given you the method.
Whether you use it or not is up to you.
I hope that getting rid of this garbage will give you a way out and make you feel lighter.
Everyone, please encourage her a little bit too. Poor little girl 🫂🫂
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