Guilt

One thing I wasn’t prepared for when cancer arrived in my life, was the guilt.

The guilt that quietly creeps in and makes you feel like you’re affecting everyone else with your unwanted diagnosis. 

Guilt for being the one in the family with a serious illness.

Guilt when holidays get cancelled, plans change, and birthdays (my husband’s 70th) don’t quite go as expected.

Guilt for spending half the day in bed because your body simply won’t cooperate two days after treatment. 

Guilt when you meet people whose cancer journey is far harder than your own.

Guilt when someone else’s story doesn’t have the ending they hoped for, and yours might.

Guilt for feeling down, even though the sun’s out & you’re trying your best to stay positive.

Guilt for not being the person you were before diagnosis.

Guilt for hearing yourself say, “Sorry…” for the hundredth time.

Sorry I can’t come.

Sorry I need to rest.

Sorry I forgot.

Sorry I’m not myself today.

And sometimes, guilt simply for becoming “the ill person” in every conversation.

The truth is, cancer brings enough baggage without us carrying guilt as well. (Read that again!)

None of us asked for this.

We’re doing the best we can with the cards we’ve been dealt.

So today, if you’re carrying a little guilt around with you, perhaps put it down for a while.

Your only job is to get through today.

And if that means cancelling plans, taking a nap, or eating toast for tea while watching Netflix, I’m fairly sure that’s covered somewhere in the official Cancer Rule Book… right next to “Thou shalt not feel guilty for needing a duvet day and a chocolate biscuit.” 😊 ☕️ 🍫 

Does anyone else feel this irrational guilt?