There is no real charity support in the society on breast cancer patients
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I am female and age 36 (36F) and I had been diagnosed a month ago (stage 1 grade 2 IDC). Lumpectomy this week! 🤞🏻
Rant incoming!
I haven’t started any treatment yet but I feel exhausted and short of breath most of the time. I take the elevator when there is one, use the stair handrail when there isn’t an elevator, and wear a “please offer me a seat” on public transport (available from Transport for London with no proof required ☺️)
But because I’m relatively young, otherwise relatively healthy, and don’t “look” like I have cancer, I feel like people out in public don’t make space for me in this way (metaphorically and literally).
I’m also not feeling great this week, not sure if it’s a cold or what, but have been a little light-headed so feeling less steady on my feet.
Anyway, two things specifically that pissed me off today as I was out and about doing some errands.
Climbing the stairs to exit a train station, I was holding onto the rail and taking my time (one step at a time). As I neared the top, a young lad was coming the other direction. Since I was holding onto the rail and nearly at the top, I figured he would go around me. Not only did he not move, he didn’t break his pace and actually shoulder-checked me as he passed on the inside, forcing me to let go of the rail. Not hard or anything, but enough for me to know it was intentional. I yelled out “Hey!! Dude!” which he ignored. He seemed to be wearing a school uniform so he was probably a teenager, but like… if you see someone holding the rail, it’s reasonable to assume they need it. Couldn’t believe it.
I went to a thrift store to get some new-to-me cosy things for my upcoming surgery and recovery. There was one area in a bit of a corner next to the fitting rooms where a guy was sitting on a bench (probably waiting for someone) and a woman had one of those granny shopper trolley things, so it was a bit tight/crowded. Neither of them were looking at the clothes on the shelves and as I tried to get to it, neither of them moved. When I said “excuse me”, the woman made the most minimal, ineffectual movement of her trolley. So I had to go round the long way to get to what I wanted to look at.
Both of these behaviours are just rude anyway, cancer or not, but if I wasn’t so easily exhausted it wouldn’t bother me as much. I feel like if I were elderly, pregnant, using crutches/a cane, or wearing “cancer headwear”, or some other obvious sign I’m less stable on my feet, people would probably be much quicker to give me space.
Not just today, but I usually have to ask people on the train if anybody can give up their seat for me, because despite the badge everybody is buried in their own thing, and even if they were to look up they don’t pay attention to people who might need a seat unless they fit a certain profile (pregnant, elderly, etc…).
It’s not the end of the world of course, I don’t take it personally, and I have it much better than many people here - I’m not going to collapse if I have to walk a few paces unaided or stand for a few stops - but it just pisses me off how people are so inconsiderate even when someone is literally communicating (explicitly or otherwise) their needs right in front of them.
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