One of the loneliest parts of cancer isn’t always the treatments or the appointments.
Sometimes it’s realizing how much of your experience you keep to yourself.
Not because you don’t want to talk about it.
Because you don’t want the people you love to carry the weight of it too.
There have been days I’ve wanted to say, “I’m scared.”
Instead I’ve said, “I’m okay.”
Not because I was lying.
But because I knew hearing “I’m scared” would break someone else’s heart.
So you start protecting the people who are trying to protect you.
You smile a little bigger.
You change the subject.
You tell them the scan went well, but leave out how terrified you were waiting for the results.
You tell them treatment was fine, but not that you cried in the parking lot before you walked in.
You carry parts of the story quietly because you don’t want the people you love to spend every day carrying your fear too.
I think that’s something people don’t always realize about cancer.
Sometimes we’re not hiding our feelings because we don’t trust you.
We’re hiding them because we love you.
And if I’m being honest…
I think a lot of people living with cancer are carrying conversations they’ll never say out loud.
If you’ve ever found yourself protecting someone you love from your own pain, whether it was because of cancer or something else, I’d love to know…
What’s something you’ve carried close to you because you didn’t want to worry someone else?
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