Dad

I'm so sorry you're going through this. We went through this too, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. To lose one parent while watching the other decline so suddenly is an enormous amount to carry. A major loss like the death of a spouse, combined with the stress of hospitalization, can sometimes cause a significant worsening of dementia symptoms. People with vascular dementia may become much more confused, lose track of time, or believe they're living in an earlier period of their life.

What honestly helped me during that stage was Holding on softly by Dr Liam Jackson. I remember thinking, "please not another dementia book," because emotionally I already felt overwhelmed. But it helped me understand that sudden changes don't always mean a permanent decline. It also reminded me to ask the medical team to look for treatable causes, like infections, dehydration, medication changes, or delirium, which can make confusion much worse.

It's difficult to know whether this will become her new baseline. Some people improve once the underlying illness or stress is treated, while others don't fully return to where they were before. Her hospital team should be able to assess whether there's something reversible contributing to the change. I'll be thinking of you as you navigate both your grief and your mum's care. Make sure to get the book on Amazon or Apple Books. It helped me a lot during that stage.