no oncology appointment is easy

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Tomorrow I have another oncology appointment.

If I’m being honest, these appointments never get easier and I don’t know that they ever will.

Cancer survivorship is a strange thing. People celebrate when treatment is over, and they should. It is a huge victory. But what many people don’t realize is that survivorship comes with its own challenges. Every blood test, every scan, every follow up appointment can bring back the fear you thought you had left behind. I don’t know if you ever truly leave it behind you just kind of bring it with you. You try to move forward, but it is always still there.

Tomorrow I should receive the results of my latest bloodwork. We’ve been praying, believing, and hoping for good news. Yet tonight, I find myself carrying that familiar mix of faith and anxiety.

I know God has been faithful every step of this journey. I know worrying won’t change tomorrow’s outcome. But I also know it’s okay to be honest about the emotions that come with waiting.

For anyone who has walked through cancer, is currently fighting it, or loves someone who is, I want you to know that survivorship isn’t just about being cancer free. It’s learning how to live with uncertainty while still choosing hope. It’s trusting God even when your heart races and your mind wants to imagine every possible scenario. I don’t really know that I ever knew what trusting God really meant until I walked through cancer. Because it’s an everyday thing.

Tonight, I’m choosing faith over fear. Not because fear isn’t present, but because God’s faithfulness has proven greater every single time.

If you think about me tomorrow, I’d appreciate your prayers. We’re believing for another clear report and another reminder of God’s goodness.

One appointment at a time.

One prayer at a time.

One day at a time.

We’re in this together 🩷💪🏼