opinions
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Some of the hardest parts of having cancer wasn't the surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, or the endless appointments.
But it was some of the things people said to me when I shared my diagnosis or my treatment plan.
I've had a few spiritual friends and healers tell me that I got cancer because I didn't do my healing work fast enough.
I've had a male healer and life coach tell me that I never healed the "root cause," that chemotherapy was a shortcut, and that because I chose conventional treatment, my cancer would come back stronger in this the next lifetime.
I cannot fully describe how painful it was to hear those words while I was fighting for my life.
When you're sitting in an infusion chair, terrified of leaving your child without a mother, the last thing you need is someone suggesting that your illness is somehow your fault.
Over the last year, I've heard many different explanations for why people get sick.
Some say illness comes from misalignment.
Others say cancer is a spiritual initiation reserved for those who are meant to become light.
Some believe disease is unresolved trauma, karma, blocked emotions, or lessons we are meant to learn.
I understand that many of these perspectives come from a place of wanting to make sense of suffering.
But for me, they are still interpretations.
The truth is, I don't know why cancer happened to me.
And I don't know why it happens to anyone.
What I do know is that I've lost friends to cancer who were some of the most loving, conscious, compassionate, spiritually connected human beings I've ever met. Some of the most loving and spiritual people I know are fighting this with me and it’s not their faults either.
There was nothing "misaligned" about them.
They meditated.
They loved deeply.
They served others.
They did their inner work.
And they still got sick.
So I cannot accept a worldview that reduces illness to a personal failure, a lack of healing, or a spiritual deficiency.
Yes, I believe we can all strive to live in greater alignment with ourselves.
Yes, I believe emotional healing matters.
Yes, I believe mindset, community, movement, nutrition, and spirituality can support our well-being.
But I do not believe people deserve illness.
I do not believe cancer is a punishment.
And I do not believe that someone battling a life-threatening disease should carry the burden of being blamed for it.
The longer I live, the more comfortable I become with mystery.
Some things we simply do not understand.
Maybe illness is not a sign that someone failed.
Maybe it is not a sign that they succeeded either.
Maybe it is just part of being human.
What I know for certain is this:
People who are suffering need compassion more than explanations.
They need love more than theories.
They need support more than judgment.
So if someone you love is walking through illness, please be careful with your certainty.
Be humble.
Be curious.
And above all, be kind.
Sometimes the most healing words we can offer are simply:
"I'm here with you."
❤️
I love you all!
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