THE THREE RED FLAGS YOU MUST NEVER IGNORE AS A WOMAN

THE THREE RED FLAGS YOU MUST NEVER IGNORE AS A WOMAN

Back in those days, when the world still held deeper meaning and religious values were freely upheld, my church made it compulsory for students who had reached SS2 to begin attending marriage seminars.

One of the speakers shared what he described as the three red flags no woman should ever ignore when considering a man for marriage. Experience has since proven the wisdom behind those teachings.

Marriage is more than love, attraction, physical appearance or the excitement of being with someone. It is a lifelong commitment that requires responsibility, maturity, accountability and spiritual understanding.

Here are the three red flags every woman should pay attention to.

1. A Man Who Acts Like a Demigod to His Family and Relatives

This is the kind of man whose parents, siblings and friends cannot advise him or call him to order. He has no instructor, no teacher and nobody he respects enough to listen to when he is wrong.

Do not overlook this character trait.

A man who refuses to be accountable to anyone can become extremely difficult to live with. When conflicts arise in marriage, and they certainly will, there should be mature and trusted people who can advise, correct or mediate when necessary.

But what happens when a man believes he is always right? What happens when nobody can question his decisions or point out his mistakes?

He may eventually treat his wife the same way he treats everyone else: as someone whose opinions and corrections do not matter.

A man who cannot humble himself before those who raised him may struggle to humble himself before the woman he marries.

Marriage requires humility. No man knows everything, and no husband should consider himself above correction.

2. A Man Who Does Not or Cannot Pray

Dating a man who has no interest in prayer or spiritual matters is something a woman should take seriously, particularly if she desires a marriage built on Christian values.

A man who intends to build a Christian home should understand the importance of prayer, spiritual leadership and seeking God's direction for his family.

Imagine staying with a man for two or three days, yet he never once suggests that both of you pray together. He shows no interest in leading a prayer or discussing spiritual matters.

That should make you pause and ask important questions about his spiritual commitment.

Love, chemistry, physical attraction and good looks cannot replace spiritual responsibility.

A Christian marriage should not be built on physical affection alone. Both partners should understand the importance of prayer, godly counsel, forgiveness and putting God at the centre of their relationship.

Do not allow romantic excitement to make you ignore a fundamental difference in spiritual values.

If prayer and faith are important to you, make sure the man you intend to marry shares that commitment sincerely.

3. A Man Whose Friends and Relatives Never Check on Him When He Is Away

This is another observation women should not ignore.

When a man visits you or spends two or three days with you, pay attention to whether anyone from his circle, whether friends or family members, calls to ask about him.

Does anyone notice that he is away? Does anybody check whether he is safe? Does he maintain meaningful relationships with people who genuinely care about him?

Complete silence from everyone around him may be worth investigating.

Of course, not every man has a large family or many friends, and some people naturally prefer a private life. Therefore, the absence of phone calls alone does not prove that something is wrong.

However, if you discover that he has deliberately disconnected himself from everyone, has no meaningful relationships and refuses to maintain accountability with anyone, you should seek to understand why.

A healthy support system matters.

Marriage can come with difficult moments, disagreements and unexpected challenges. Having mature, trustworthy people around you can make a difference when couples need advice, encouragement or mediation.

Do not confuse isolation with independence, and do not ignore a complete absence of healthy relationships.

WHY MARRIAGE SEMINARS AND PREPARATION MATTER

Experience remains one of the greatest teachers, but wisdom teaches us to learn from the experiences of others rather than wait until we make the same mistakes.

I strongly recommend that everyone preparing for marriage attend proper religious and marriage seminars.

Marriage preparation should never be treated as something unnecessary or old-fashioned.

Love alone has never been enough to build a lasting home. Couples need understanding, patience, responsibility, communication, spiritual maturity and the ability to resolve disagreements.

Think about many marriages contracted between the late 1990s and around 2016. Many couples went through deliberate preparation, counselling and marriage teachings before walking down the aisle.

They did not simply meet, develop feelings, experience butterflies and rush to the altar without understanding what marriage required.

For many of them, preparation, family guidance, religious teachings and godly counsel were important parts of the journey.

Money and material possessions were not always the foundation of those relationships either. Many understood that building a home required more than financial comfort or physical attraction.

Unfortunately, some people today approach marriage as though falling in love is the only qualification needed.

That is a dangerous way to approach such an important commitment.

FINAL WORD: DO NOT IGNORE THE WARNING SIGNS

Before saying yes to marriage, pay attention to the man's character, his relationship with his family, his spiritual life and the kind of people he surrounds himself with.

Ask questions. Observe his behaviour. Take time to understand his values and how he handles correction, responsibility and disagreements.

Do not allow the fear of losing someone, the pressure of age or the excitement of being in love to silence your judgment.

A wedding lasts a day, but marriage is a lifelong journey.

Never ignore these three red flags:

1. A man who considers himself above correction and accountability.
2. A man who has no interest in prayer or spiritual responsibility when Christian faith is central to the marriage you desire.
3. A man who has no healthy relationships or meaningful support system and refuses accountability.

Remember, nobody is perfect, and these observations should not be used to condemn someone without understanding their circumstances. What matters is recognising persistent patterns of behaviour and addressing them before making a lifelong commitment.

Marriage is too important to enter blindly. Prepare yourself, seek godly counsel, observe carefully and never allow emotions alone to make the decision for you.