How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Without Losing Your Mind)

 

Here’s a practical (and slightly humorous) guide to keeping your love life drama-free.

1. Keep the Romance Alive (Yes, Even When You’re Tired)

Remember those early days when you actually tried to impress each other? Well, just because you’re legally bound now doesn’t mean you should stop flirting. Send a spicy text, leave a cheesy love note, or—dare I say it—actually plan a date night. If you can binge-watch 12 episodes of a show in one sitting, you can spare an hour for your spouse.

 

2. Be Each Other’s Biggest Cheerleader (Not Just During Game Night)

Life is hard, and sometimes all you need is a “You’ve got this!” from your person. Celebrate each other’s wins—big or small. Whether they nailed a work presentation or finally fixed that leaky faucet after six months, show some enthusiasm. (Bonus points if you throw in a little victory dance.)

 

3. Have Honest Conversations (Even the Awkward Ones)

Let’s talk about the big stuff: feelings, finances, frustrations… and yes, even that annoying thing they do with the toothpaste tube. When couples stop talking, resentment builds, and before you know it, someone’s seeking comfort from Steve in accounting. Keep the communication open, and don’t let small issues snowball into something bigger.

 

4. Set Boundaries (Because You’re Married, Not Clueless)

Look, no one’s saying you can’t have friends of the opposite sex, but there’s a difference between grabbing coffee and texting someone “just because” at midnight. Keep things respectful and transparent. If your spouse wouldn’t love reading your messages, maybe don’t send them.

 

These are just some of the things you can do!

At the end of the day, an affair-proof marriage isn’t about paranoia—it’s about prioritizing your partner. Keep the love alive, the communication open, and the laughter frequent. And hey, if all else fails, just remind your spouse that dating apps are terrifying these days. That should do the trick.

 

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