5 Times My Life Felt Like a Nollywood Movie (And I Had No Script)

Let me tell you something: if there was an award for “Best Actor in a Dramatic Life,” I would have taken home the AMVCA, AMAA, and maybe even a Grammy. Life has served me enough plot twists to last five seasons of a Netflix series. Let me prove it.

 

1. The Time I Slept in a Keke Napep

 

You know that moment when you plan to take a quick nap while waiting for your friend—and you wake up 2 hours later with the keke guy tapping you like, “Oga, we don reach.” I woke up in a different local government. My phone battery was dead, and I had to beg a woman selling akara for directions like I was in a village epic.

 

2. When I Tried to Fake 'Rich Boy Vibes' at a Restaurant

 

I took a girl to a fancy place thinking I could “balance it.” I ordered jollof rice and chicken, confidently. The bill came and my soul left my body. I laughed and said, “Can you split the bill?” She said, “Sure,” and brought out her own POS machine. I washed plates mentally that day.

 

3. The NEPA Scene

 

I was practicing my TikTok dance. I had ring light, vibes, and 47 retakes. Just when I nailed the perfect take, PHCN decided to shout “CUT!” and took the light. Not even 5 seconds warning. Just darkness and generator sounds from neighbors.

 

4. My Village People Tried Me on Exam Day

 

I got to the exam hall early, confident, wearing my “I’m smart” glasses. Sat down, flipped the question paper—and saw “Discuss the socio-political effects of the Treaty of Versailles.” Me that thought “Versailles” was a perfume brand. I started writing “God will make a way.”

 

5. The Time I Danced at a Wedding and Got Sprayed with… Peppermint

 

It was my cousin’s wedding. I danced like my school fees depended on it. A man came close and started spraying me—menthol-flavored chewing gums. I kept smiling through the pain. Even the DJ was confused.

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My life is basically a Nollywood audition tape. All I need now is a dramatic soundtrack and maybe Patience Ozokwor to play my aunt.

 

If you’ve had moments like this, just know you’re not alone. We’re all acting in this film called “Adulting.

 

#Nollywood  #FunnyStories #NigerianLife  #Relatable  #Comedy

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