life

Everything feels like a loop. Music sounds the same, food tastes like yesterday's leftovers, the people talk about the same things and today looks like the day before and the day before that; Even this place seems like it's been copying itself. It all keeps on repeating. Same rhythms, same patterns and same paths. I feel trapped in a movie I watched a hundred times; Feels like I know every single line by heart now and something, somebody, a force I cannot fight pushes me through it again, again and again. And in this repetition, I am slowly fading, rotting away, becoming something forgotten. Every day takes a bit more of me; loosing my color, my light, my own words and thoughts, the same conversations with a the same others tears me apart limb from limb until I'm just another person you meet everyday, another "oh so you're one of those guys". I would like to say I'm trying, I would love to say I'm hitting the gym now, I'm being healthy, I'm struggling to find love and friends. I'm avoiding drugs and cigarettes and I'm pushing myself to be nicer towards people. Hell, I'm even trying not to care about you leaving my world, my words and my playlivst, but it's all just a façade. The more it goes on, the more desensitize I'm getting. It is only another mask on top of another mask on top of another; Just another loop within loops as I get lost within the crowd of indifferent people.