Motherhood is very tricky. The thing is, you never know you are doing a good job until your child can take their own decisions. So we all go in blindly, and hope for the best. Being a mother is not only that, it is also a social construct amongst many other things. Mothers do not only have to face the day to day challenges of being mothers, challenges like disciplining your child, they also have to deal with things like mom shaming, from society.
It is estimated that about 85% of women have either birthed a child or plan to birth a child, so this further prooves that motherhood is an intergral part of a woman's life. This comes ever so naturally to us as women, but the opinions of others can make motherhood extremely difficult. A plethora of woman are scared for their children's future. They have anxieties on whether they are taking the right decisions for their children. Moms all over are suffering in silence because there is more judgement than there is advice for mothers. Support systems lack greatly.
From feeling guilty about admitting that we don't always like our children, to working mothers who fear that their children love the nanny more than them. From having husbands who think they are present, but they are not, to having our mothers and mothers-in-law undermine what we try to teach our children everyday, and through all of that, pretending that we are not scared and overwhelmed.
Ideologies of motherhood are often based on an individual's experience. Mothers are always viewed as warm and competent, and that is why they are admired. Mothers sacrifice everything to nurture their children. As beautiful as this narrative may be, it is not representative of all types of mothers. Every experience of motherhood is unique to each person.
Parenting provides a test for that is accompanied by many physical and emotional extremes. The heat is turned up higher in motherhood. When you become a mother, the older, outdated parts of your personality melt away, and new structures are formed. As rewarding as it may be, it is dizzying and chaoitic. Being a mother means falling from grace, and finding it again. Falling in and out of love and many heartaches. It is challenging and every challenge has the opportunity to pull us into the depths of our darkest parts, but also, if you allow it, motherhood opens us up to greater inner riches.
Motherhood is difficult because it challenges your relationships with yourself and your loved ones. We forget ourselves and we also change shape. We forget to love ourselves.
It is crucial to not forget about yourself as a mother. Don't forget to be kind to yourself, stoo judging yourself, stop being too hard on yourself. You are the engine that your child needs to run, if you break, how will your child win the race that has be set up for them? Do not succumb to the pressures of society. You know your child, and you know what is important to your child.
Mothers, let us stop judging each other. In closing, here is some advice for you:
1. Your children may all be birthed by you, but they are not the same. Stop comparing children.
2. You may have birthed your child, but they do not belong to you. Give thanks to God everyday when your child wakes up.
3. Stop thinking your techniques work for everyone. Stop giving unsolicited advice to other mothers.
4. Every child is special.
5. Know your child's strengths and grow them. Know your child's weaknesses also, so that you make your child aware of them.
6. Time with your child means more to them, than you think.
7. Just because you think its best for them, doesn't mean it is best for them.
8. Listen to your child.
9. Talk with your child.
10. BE CONFIDENT. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. YOU ARE A VESSEL THAT CARRIED THAT ANGEL TO THIS DIMENSION, IT WASN'T BY MISTAKE. YOU ARE EXACTLY WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS. THEY WHERE NOT GIVEN TO YOU BY MISTAKE. YOU GODDESS YOU.
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