Why I Learned Not to Take Back Someone Who Hurt Me

A Lesson in Letting Go: Why I Learned Not to Take Back Someone Who Hurt Me

Growing up, I believed life was going to be easy. My mother made it look that way. She carried the weight of her world with grace, never letting the struggles show. I admired her strength but, as a child, I didn’t see the battles she fought in silence. It wasn’t until I stepped into adulthood that I realized how tough life could truly be.

At 20 years old, I made the bold decision to move out and start my own life. I had met a man who, at the time, seemed like the person I was meant to build a future with. Not long after, I became pregnant. By the age of 21, I was a mother to two beautiful children. The journey into motherhood was fast and overwhelming, and while I tried to hold everything together, life tested me in ways I never anticipated.

During my second pregnancy, the man I loved betrayed me. He cheated, breaking my heart during one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. Yet, in my kindness — or perhaps my hope for something better — I forgave him. I allowed him back into my life, clinging to the belief that people could change and that love could heal what was broken.

But the painful truth is that some patterns repeat themselves, and some people don’t deserve second chances. Despite my forgiveness, he continued to hurt me, repeating the same mistakes and disrespect. And every time it happened, I questioned myself: Why did I let him back? Was my heart too soft, or was I just afraid to be alone?

With time, I’ve come to realize one important truth: never bring someone back into your life who’s already shown you they can hurt you. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself for peace, but reconciliation is a choice — one that should be made wisely. If someone has wounded you once, especially in a way that shakes your foundation, chances are they might do it again.

Today, I share my story not to dwell on the past, but to help others learn from it. It’s okay to let go. It’s okay to choose yourself and your peace of mind over a relationship that drags you down. Life is hard enough without carrying the weight of someone else's repeated mistakes.

Value yourself, set your boundaries, and remember that anyone who truly loves you won’t have to be taught how to treat you right.