Title: The Man Who Borrowed Asoebi on Credit
Written by precious precious
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In the lively town of Igbokoko, there was one man who never missed a party—his name was Brother Shina Swagger.
He was a professional owambe attendee, a man who believed that life’s true purpose was to wear fine clothes, eat free jollof, and dance until his legs cried for help.
The only problem? Brother Shina never had money.
One day, he heard about a big society wedding happening in town. The kind of wedding where small chops never finish, drinks flow like river Niger, and rich people spray money like politicians on election day.
He knew he had to be there, but there was one small issue—the compulsory Asoebi (matching outfit) cost ₦30,000!
Did Brother Shina have ₦30,000? No.
Did that stop him? Also no.
He went straight to Mama Nkechi the Tailor and begged.
“Mama Nkechi, I swear to you, after this wedding, money will rain on me like manna from heaven! Just sew this cloth on credit!”
Mama Nkechi sighed. “Shina, if you don’t pay, I will disgrace you in public.”
Brother Shina placed his hand on his chest. “Trust me, Mama Nkechi, have I ever disappointed you before?”
Mama Nkechi looked at him. “YES. Every single time.”
But against her better judgment, she agreed.
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THE WEDDING DAY CAME.
Brother Shina arrived like a fresh Lagos big boy. He wore the Asoebi like a prince from a Nollywood movie, perfume smelling like imported dollars, and shoes so shiny they could blind somebody.
The moment he entered, he switched to work mode.
• Step 1: Locate the food. ✔️
• Step 2: Sit near the richest people for the best jollof. ✔️
• Step 3: Wait for dance time to collect money. ✔️✔️✔️
As the live band played, Brother Shina jumped up, spinning, twisting, and bending like an electric wire on fire. Money rained from the heavens! ₦200, ₦500, even ₦1,000 notes!
Just as he was about to pick the money…
BOOM! A loud voice echoed through the speakers.
“HELLO EVERYBODY! PLEASE, STOP THE MUSIC.”
The DJ paused. The crowd turned.
Mama Nkechi had grabbed the microphone.
She pointed straight at Brother Shina.
“EVERYBODY, LOOK AT THIS MAN IN BLUE Asoebi! HE IS WEARING MY CLOTH ON CREDIT AND HAS REFUSED TO PAY! TODAY, HE MUST REMOVE IT IN PUBLIC!”
The hall went silent.
Brother Shina froze mid-dance, hand still stretched towards the money on the floor.
Mama Nkechi continued, “My friend, remove the cloth NOW! If you don’t have money, dance in your singlet!”
The crowd exploded in laughter.
Somebody shouted, “Justice for tailors!”
Another person yelled, “Shina, strip or swipe your card!”
Brother Shina had never felt so embarrassed in his life. The live band even started playing a new song:
“If you no get money, hide your face…”
In the end, Brother Shina had no choice but to remove the Asoebi right there in the hall! He ran out in his singlet and trousers, disappearing into the streets like a thief in the night.
Till today, whenever people see him at a party, they ask, “Shina, have you paid Mama Nkechi?”
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Moral of the story:
If you don’t have money, wear what you have—before they collect it in public!
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Written by precious precious
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