Title: The Village Football Final Wahala
Written by precious precious
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In the lively village of Umuikoro, football was more serious than politics. Every year, the biggest event was the “King’s Cup Final,” where the two rival teams, Umuikoro Bombers and Agbada Warriors, battled for glory. This year, the tension was hotter than Mama Nkechi’s pepper soup.
The entire village gathered at the dusty football field, ready for war—I mean, football. The referee, a short man called Mr. Short Fuse, was known for his terrible eyesight and love for bribes. Before the match started, he was already sweating like a goat that mistakenly entered a lion’s den.
The whistle blew, and the game began!
Everything was going smoothly until Mazi Okonkwo, the village drunkard, decided to take matters into his own hands. The ball accidentally rolled near him, and instead of kicking it back, he picked it up and ran towards the goal post!
“GOOOAAAL!!!” he shouted.
The players stopped. The spectators froze. Even the birds in the trees were confused.
The referee scratched his head, then suddenly blew the whistle. “Goal stands! 1-0 to Umuikoro Bombers!”
“Ahhh! Is he mad?!” the Agbada Warriors protested. “That man is not even a player!”
But before the referee could respond, Mazi Okonkwo took off his shirt and ran around the field like a victorious warrior.
Just when we thought things couldn’t get worse, the real disaster happened.
In the 89th minute, with the score tied at 1-1, a player from Agbada Warriors took a powerful shot at the goal. The ball was heading straight in—until a mighty chicken flew out of nowhere and blocked the ball with its chest!
The ball bounced back, hitting the referee straight in the face, knocking him out cold!
The entire village went mad.
Some people said the chicken was sent by the local herbalist to sabotage the game. Others said it was the reincarnation of the last referee, who was banned for accepting bribes. But one thing was clear—the match could not continue.
In the end, the village chief had to step in. He declared the match a draw and promised to ban any chicken from future games. Meanwhile, the referee woke up, looked around, and said, “Who won? Where am I?”
Since that day, the village football committee introduced a new rule: “No drunkards, no chickens, no wahala!”
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Moral of the story: In village football, expect the unexpected!
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