You can't be perfect, cause nobody's perfect darling and there's nobody in this world, like you
~Alessia Cara
The word perfect is arbitrary, it doesn't exist
~orange pudding
There is no beauty in perfection, well at least not the world's version of it, there has never been, and never will be.
So why do we allow ourselves to give it a definition, and begin to push one another to meet a standard that doesn't even exist?
P E R F E C T I O N, a ten-letter word, meaning the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects. This is the society's definition of this word. Is it actually possible to be ¨perfect¨? To have everything about you flawless?
Jesus was the only named perfect person, but I'm sure the Muslims don't agree with that, and neither do the Buddhists nor the Jews. We all have different perspectives on perfection. My definition of a perfect person might not suit yours, but your definition of the perfect boyfriend might not suit mine. Our definition of a perfect nation might not suit theirs. So what's the fuss?
Perfection is an illusion, it is our imagination. We all want to be perfect but we cannot do that because we do not even know what that perfection entails. I might be slim, some people would not like that slenderness, I gain weight then suddenly everybody likes skinny people. I’m smart and people say I know too much, I become average student others say im not utilising my full potential, I become utterly dumb and everybody says she´s DUMB. Why then should we stress ourselves when there's no state we can attain to please everybody?
To be frank, women are more subject to these criticisms than men, especially in Nigeria, in fact in Africa as a whole. The world expects us to be perfect. They put so much pressure on us for little things. They say ‘a girl shouldn't sit like that', ‘a lady shouldn't laugh so loudly’, ‘a girl shouldn't be so clumsy’, ‘a woman should be a light sleeper’, a girl should be clean, neat, smart, obedient, you should multitask, you must cook, you should not snore, you should be proactive, you must be able to entertain guests, you should be able to hold a conversation, you shouldn't eat so much, you should be slim, you should have a nice curvy body, you should not be rude, you should be completely submissive to your husband. And my personal favourite, an utterly demeaning sentence, which I believe indicates the height of male chauvinism: ‘a lady should be seen not heard. All these will make you the perfect wife, daughter, girlfriend, they will in fact make you ”the perfect woman¨. Why are there so many objectives to meet to attain perfection? And even if we are able to bend to this will, what do we get in return? Now if the world says girls should walk properly, be quiet, be clean, be obedient, and all others, then what about the guys in the world? Nobody cares that their son isn't clean, can't cook, can't comport himself? Doesn't it matter? How are parents training the African children of today? Are they absentmindedly training only their females and allowing the males to rot? And we wonder why we have violent and unhelpful husbands today. It is because they grew up in a household where their bad attitudes were seen as normal, and as natural. Their wives are SUPPOSED to do everything they can't do. After all, women are made for the home, aren't they? Bullcrap!
Well young females in the world, I want to tell you today that you shouldn't let them do that to you. You shouldn't let them assess your value by how well you can do house chores. You shouldn't let them define your worth by the number of dishes you can cook, because you are not an instrument of household organisation and you can be perfect without all these in your own way. I’m not saying you shouldn't know how to do these chores, they are of course essential in every way.. But you should choose to learn and perfect them for YOURSELF and for your welfare, not so that society can see you as ‘wife material’. I am not discouraging submissiveness to your husband or cooking for your family, all I am saying is that you should be seen primarily for who you are and not for what you can do in the kitchen.
As the saying goes ‘ if you live your life for the approval of others, you will die from their rejection’. We cannot be approved by everybody in the world, we all have different tastes and wants. Some people will like you, others won’t. That's just life. And until we accept this fact, we will never really embrace our real selves. We will continue trying to fix what we believe are our flaws, meanwhile damaging our most distinguishing features. You are not perfect, I agree, but neither is the person making you feel less of yourself. Learn to sieve through criticism, it's not every opinion you hear that you implement. Sometimes just block out the negativity and take the important parts of whatever advice is given. You are who you are for a reason, and you have a purpose to achieve, but you can't do that if you keep trying to meet a standard that has no definition.
The perfect person is dark, and the perfect person is fair. The perfect person is short, the perfect person is also tall. The perfect person is slim but also very fat. The perfect person is really intelligent, but he or she can be really dumb. The perfect person is really rich, but he can also not have cash at all. The perfect person can sing, dance, draw, write, and she also can't do any of these things. Perfection varies, it has no constant and It has no definite meaning. One person can not possess all these characteristics at the same time. So we take some of each. I take a piece of perfection and I make it mine. You take a piece and make it yours. I can sing and you can dance. So I'll appreciate your perfect, and you will do the same to mine. This is what makes the world diverse and beautiful. So what is the correct definition of the perfect person you might ask? You are! .Once you've accepted all your imperfections and you have understood that there is no such thing as complete perfection. Once you finally understand that everyone´s version of perfection is different., once you know that your flaws;, those things that our extremely judgemental world has made you feel insecure about due to their extremely twisted and toxic standards and expectations,: that those imperfections are in themselves perfection and once you finally accept that you are Be-you-tiful!, you will realise that you are truly the definition of perfect, even if it isn´t the world's version of it. Be happy and remain proud of who you are now, who you were and who you will become.
And always be YOU, because you are somebody’s definition of completely perfect.
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