This App Gives You Money for Making the Worst Pizza Ever 🍕😖💵

It was 11:47 PM, and I was in my kitchen holding a jar of pickles, a marshmallow, and a leftover chicken foot from last night’s soup. The pizza dough was ready. My phone was watching. And I was about to earn actual money by committing culinary crimes.

 

Welcome to CrustCrimes™, the app that pays you real cash for making the worst pizza you can possibly imagine. The worse, the better. The more cursed your creation, the more coins you earn.

 

Let’s dive into how this app works, why it exists, how I made $28 by insulting the very concept of pizza, and why thousands of users are joining this digital food rebellion. Grab your rubber gloves and a can of sardines—we’re going in.

 

 

 

 

🍕 Chapter 1: The App That Hates Pizza (and Pays You for It)

 

 

I first heard about CrustCrimes on a Discord server where people usually post side hustles and weird challenges. One message caught my eye:

 

“Just made $7 for putting jelly beans and hotdog slices on pizza. This app is unhinged and I love it.”

 

Naturally, I downloaded it.

 

The interface was like a mafia-themed cooking game. A grumpy tomato named Don Mozzarella welcomes you with this message:

 

“We’re tired of perfect pies. The world needs chaos. Ruin a pizza. Get paid.”

 

You then get access to a virtual challenge board with daily “Disgusting Prompts.” You complete them by filming your creation and uploading it through the app. The worse it looks, the more money you earn.

 

And yes, there’s real payout—via PayPal, gift cards, or crypto.

 

 

 

 

🧀 Chapter 2: The Rules of the Revolting

 

 

To make sure you’re not just slapping ketchup on cardboard and calling it a day, the app has specific rules:

 

1. You must use a real dough base. No paper plates or socks.
2. You must cook it. Either in an oven or toaster. Raw is rejected.
3. You must taste it. On camera. One bite. No spitting.
4. No dangerous ingredients. No bleach or soap. Gross ≠ deadly.
5. You must follow the theme. Each prompt is specific (e.g., “Dessert Disaster” or “Protein Party”).

 

 

You get rated by an AI called CrustoMeter, plus three anonymous human judges (fellow users who already completed challenges).

Each pizza earns a score for:

 

• Visual Cursedness 😱
• Ingredient Clash 🤢
• Creative Suffering 🔥
• Bravery Bonus 🫡

 

 

Coins are awarded accordingly.

 

 

 

 

😖 Chapter 3: My First Pizza Crime — The “Breakfast Bomb”

 

 

Challenge of the Day: “Make a pizza using only breakfast items.”

 

I scavenged the fridge. What I ended up with:

 

• Scrambled eggs
• Maple syrup
• Bacon bits
• Grape jelly
• A drizzle of coffee for sauce

 

 

I filmed myself adding each layer like a mad scientist. My dog left the kitchen. I baked it at 180°C. It smelled like betrayal and despair.

 

Then came the worst part: the bite.

It was… strangely okay for 0.3 seconds. Then the jelly kicked in. Then the coffee. Then regret.

 

I uploaded the video, waited two hours, and got this notification:

 

“Your Breakfast Bomb scored 86 CrustoPoints. $2.60 has been added to your wallet. Keep ruining pizza.”

 

Reader, I was hooked.

 

 

 

 

🥴 Chapter 4: The Community of Culinary Chaos

 

 

The app has a public gallery called the “Hall of Shame.” It’s a cursed museum of melted nightmares.

 

Some highlights I saw:

 

• “Seafood Sundae” — tuna, sprinkles, mayonnaise
• “Christmas Morning” — candy cane chunks and mashed potatoes
• “Vegan Rage” — kale, raisins, and raw tofu covered in mustard

 

 

The comments are half support group, half roast battle:

 

• “I cried watching this.”
• “Why does this smell bad through the screen?”
• “Respect. I gagged in solidarity.”

 

 

There’s also a ranking board. The top user, @YeastBeast, has made over $970 by consistently submitting pizzas so bad they were featured on food blogs. One of their masterpieces? “Licorice Lasagna Pizza.” A war crime in five layers.

 

 

 

 

🔍 Chapter 5: But… Why Does This App Exist?

 

 

I had to find out if this was a performance art stunt or a secret marketing scheme.

 

Turns out, CrustCrimes is backed by an indie game studio called Burnt Basil Studios, known for making absurd mobile games like Toilet Racing Simulator and Grandma Laser Tag.

 

They say the app is “a protest against the Instagramification of food.”

 

“Not everything has to be aesthetic. Sometimes food should be weird, honest, and awful. We want to celebrate bad taste—literally.”

 

Also, the app collects valuable reaction data for a future game called Gross Chef VR, where you play a haunted pizza maker who serves terrible dishes to ghost customers. I’m not kidding.

 

So yes, it’s both art and business. Welcome to the future.

 

 

 

 

📸 Chapter 6: My Top 5 Worst Pizzas (Yes, I Have a List)

 

 

1. Peanut Butter Nightmare
   

• Peanut butter base, sliced jalapeños, gummy bears
• Rating: 91 CrustoPoints
• Taste: Immediate regret with a lingering burn

  Fruit Punch Flatbread

• Pineapple, orange slices, fruit punch syrup instead of tomato sauce
• Rating: 78
• Taste: Like eating candy on cardboard

  Pickle Pie Party

• Pickles, onions, mustard, shredded cheddar
• Rating: 102
• Taste: An argument in your mouth

  Tuna Banana Melt

• Self-explanatory.
• Rating: 114
• Taste: I needed therapy after this one

  Wasabi Dessert Pizza

• Chocolate spread + wasabi paste + shredded coconut
• Rating: 128
• Taste: Pain. Just pain.

 

 

 

Total earnings from these? Around $18.40.

 

 

 

 

🧠 Chapter 7: What This Did to My Brain and Taste Buds

 

 

After two weeks of CrustCrimes, my sense of flavor was permanently altered.

 

• I began to fear the oven timer
• I started questioning good pizza
• I got a weird thrill from combining conflicting ingredients

 

 

Also, every time I saw pineapple, I flinched.

 

But I learned something too: taste is subjective, but bad taste is universal. Watching people react to your horror creations is a bonding experience. You’re not just cooking—you’re performing.

 

 

 

 

💸 Chapter 8: The Money Is Real (and Surprisingly Decent)

 

 

So how much can you really make?

 

Here’s what I earned in 14 days:

 

Pizza Submissions	Average Score	Total Coins	Cash Earned
12	~94	24,300	$24.30
Referrals (3)	—	—	$3.00
Special Bonus	—	—	$1.00
TOTAL	—	—	$28.30

Payment via PayPal was smooth. Took 48 hours.

No minimum threshold (you can cash out as soon as you reach $5).

 

There’s even a $50 monthly prize for “Most Heinous Creation,” judged by a celebrity chef who wishes to remain anonymous. (I suspect it’s Gordon Ramsay’s evil twin.)

 

 

 

 

🤯 Chapter 9: What Happens If You Make a Good Pizza?

 

 

You get rejected. Literally.

 

One time, I accidentally made a pizza that looked… edible. It had tomato sauce, cheese, and some olives.

CrustoMeter said:

 

“This pizza is too normal. Try again.”

 

It gave me 12 points out of 200 and a notification that said:

 

“Perfection is boring. Please disappoint us.”

 

The only way to win here is to offend the Italian ancestors watching from above.

 

 

 

 

🧩 Chapter 10: A Weird Psychological Revelation

 

 

I didn’t expect this app to trigger philosophical questions, but here we are.

 

Why do we always aim for perfection?

 

In a world of food influencers, five-star recipes, and shiny restaurant plating, CrustCrimes is a breath of moldy air. It rewards the opposite of polished. It encourages raw, messy experimentation. It says:

 

“Fail loudly. Fail weirdly. Get paid anyway.”

 

And honestly? That’s kind of beautiful.

 

Even failure becomes valuable—especially when it’s topped with anchovies and marshmallows.

 

 

 

 

🧪 Chapter 11: Can You Game the System?

 

 

Some users try to “cheat” by:

 

• Using clever editing
• Faking bites
• Using props instead of real food

 

 

But the app uses both AI and peer review, so fakes are usually caught. If flagged, you lose coins and get a “Dishonor Badge” with a sad mushroom icon.

 

Trust me: just make the pizza. Make it awful. Make it real.

 

 

 

 

🧊 Chapter 12: Would I Recommend It?

 

 

If you’re:

 

• Tired of boring side hustles
• Have a tolerance for culinary pain
• Love performance art
• Want to troll your friends with cursed content
• And don’t mind tasting your own regrets

 

 

Then yes. Download CrustCrimes. Cook something abominable. Film your suffering.

Get paid for being disgusting.

 

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll maybe vomit.

But you’ll also make money—and memories.

 

✅ Sources

 

 

1. CrustCrimes Official App (Tested on iOS & Android, July 2025)
2. Interview with Burnt Basil Studios on Polygon (2024)
3. “Why Bad Food Content Goes Viral,” Vice FoodTech Blog
4. User Discord Group: CrustCrafters Anonymous
5. Journal of Culinary Psychology — Vol. 9: “Taste Aversion as Social Entertainment”
6. My own pizza logs, videos, and digestive regrets

 

Written by the author, Fatima Al-Hajri 👩🏻‍💻