4 KEY LESSONS LEARNT FROM MARRIAGE
Marriage is a paradox. Others say it is a bed of roses, while others feel the same bed is suffocating them and want to get out of it as fast as possible. This shows how we all perceive marriage differently and end up in sweet, sour, very hot range of experiences.
Our expectations at the beginning of a relationship and eventually marriage is usually the determining factor whether the marriage will last or not. In most cases, our expectations are very high and skewed. However as we progress and grow in it, here is what we learn.
Partnership is paramount
Marriage is like a mutual agreement between two parties who agree on terms of operations, dos and donts to achieve an ultimate goal. If each partner is able to play his or her role responsibly then the partnership will thrive and the inverse is true.
Effective communication
Though they say actions speaks louder than words, loving someone without using words to communicate is not doing any justice to him or her and can take a huge toll on the mental health of both partners. Communication between couples is imperative to a happy and long-lasting marriage. The two types of communication known as verbal (through words)and non-verbal (facial/body expressions) should be carefully intertwined to have effective communication which results in marriage free of any bitterness, fighting or mistrust.
Skillful Problem solving
Everyone desires to be in a peaceful environment always but conflicts are unescapable due to the diversity in characters and preferences of partners. In times of trouble, try as much as possible to solve them between the two of you. Keep off relatives, neighbours, colleagues and friends unless it is necessary. Seek guidance from a neutral party such as counsellors, spiritual leaders, marriage therapists that have your best interest at heart. In the case of physical violence, take refuge as soon as possible for it better to be safe than sorry.
Change is inevitable
They say change is as good as a rest but not all changes bring rest, some bring trouble and pain. Change is bound to happen as we go through different stages in life. You enter marriage young and fun loving but as you grow old in it you change due to increasing responsibilities and the need for a calmer lifestyle. There is a period of friction due to sudden changes like terminal illnesses, death among others but you have to work through it and get back on the right track.
Conclusion
Marriage and relationships are not always bed of roses.The deeper you get to know each other, the weaknesses of the other partner seem to outweigh their strengths. This results in hatred, resentment and bitterness and eventually painful separation or divorce.When getting married or in a relationship, focus on being the best version of YOU and you will enjoy it as it lasts. Always remember that marriage and relationship status do not define YOU. YOU define your relationships.
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