How I Tried to Impress My Crush and Almost Landed in the Hospital

They say love makes you do foolish things. I didn’t know they meant full-blown nonsense until I met Sandra.

She was beautiful, smart, and worst of all… she liked fit guys.

Me? I was shaped like an apology.

But I was determined. I told myself, “Today, we enter gym!”

First day, I walked in like a boss. No warm-up, no stretching. Just pride and overconfidence. I jumped straight to the bench press.

Biggest mistake of my life.

The weight fell on my chest and my soul almost left my body. I screamed, “Jesus!” The gym instructor screamed, “Drop it!” My arms said, “You’re on your own, bro.”

That day, I became a local celebrity. Everyone in the gym now calls me “that guy we almost buried.”

But I didn’t stop. Oh no. I wanted to impress Sandra, remember?

So I downloaded a “7-minute abs” workout video. Midway through, I sneezed and pulled a muscle. For one full week, I walked like a rejected crab.

I finally invited her out to eat.

She ordered water and salad.

Me? I tried to pretend I liked healthy food too, so I ordered lettuce wrap with zero-carb dressing.

I got home and cried while eating bread with groundnut.

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Moral of the Story:

If someone doesn’t like you the way you are, go and eat rice in peace. Health is good — but impressing someone shouldn’t leave you looking like a victim of kung fu training.

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Tags:

#CrushFail #FunnyStory #NigerianRomance #FitnessGoneWrong #LodpostLaughs #AlmostDiedForLove