How Love Works

When a relationship begins, our passion for our partner is usually natural and intense.

We think of them constantly, we just want to spend more time in their company, and we take pleasure in their many skills and achievements: but these early stages of intense admiration and desire rarely last.

The world often explains this cooling as the inevitable result of mere exposure.

It’s common to ignore things that are always there.

But the real reason seems more complex, psychologically richer, and in its own way more hopeful.

When we stop admiring, it's mostly because we're angry in some way.

Anger destroys admiration.

We stop loving because we unknowingly get caught up in all forms of unprocessed anger and advice.

We are unable to cheer up our partner because, deep down, we are held back by memories of some disappointment that was his fault.

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