I used to believe that when a man says “I love you”, he truly means it from his heart. That love should be about care, sacrifice, and protection not constant requests for money. But my own relationship experience opened my eyes.
I was dating a guy who knew my heart was soft. He knew I was emotional. He knew that if he asked me for something, I’d find a way to give it even if it meant I had to borrow from someone else.
At first, it started small. "Babe, send me ₦2,000, I’ll pay you back tomorrow.” I didn’t think much of it because sometimes lovers help each other. But it didn’t stop there.
One day, I told him plainly:
“I don’t have money right now.”
Even when I had the money which was borrowed and I told him to send account details
Do you know what happened? Instead of saying, “Don’t worry, babe, I’ll be fine,” he still sent me his account number and even added, “Be fast please, I love you.”
So is it only when I send him money that he will suddenly remember to tell me “I love you”?
That was the moment I realised something important: love without care is just empty words.
When Love Turns Into Financial Pressure
A man who truly loves you will not watch you struggle, then still add to your burden. Even if he doesn’t have money, he will think of ways to reduce your stress not increase it.
If a man is always asking, always collecting, always draining you financially without giving back my sister, that’s not love. That’s using you. Some men have made it a habit to live off women, knowing that emotional women often give without thinking twice. But love is not meant to be a one-way ATM service.
The Role of a Man in a Relationship
I know some people will say, “But women should also support men financially sometimes.” True, I’m not against helping your man if he’s genuinely in need. Relationships are about partnership, and there are times when roles can switch.
But hear me well: if it becomes a lifestyle where you are the one constantly giving, while he never makes effort to provide or surprise you, something is wrong.
A real man, even if broke, will find creative ways to care for his woman. If he truly loves you, he will protect you from financial stress. He will not be comfortable taking from you all the time, especially when he knows you’re struggling.
Even if he has to borrow, he will borrow for you, not the other way round.
How Men Show Real Love
Let me break it down. A man who truly loves you will:
*Protect your peace not make you anxious about money.
*Give in whatever way he can even if it’s not much.
*Feel uncomfortable collecting from you too often because his pride will want to take care of you instead.
*Surprise you with little things even if it’s just food, gifts, or thoughtful gestures.
* Support your dreams not drain your resources.
And this doesn’t mean women should sit and do nothing. But there’s a balance that should be there. Love is not about one person always sacrificing while the other just receives.
To the Ladies Reading This
If you’re in a relationship where you’re the constant giver and he’s the constant taker, please open your eyes.
Ask yourself:
Does he care about my struggles?
Does he give without me asking?
Does he try to take care of me even when it’s not convenient for him?
Does he only say “I love you” when he’s about to ask for something?
If most of your answers are negative, my sister, it might be time to rethink that relationship.
A man who truly loves you will make you feel secure not used.
To the Men Who Need to Hear This
If you’re a man and you love your woman, please don’t put her in a position where she feels like your personal bank. Even if she has money, let her feel your effort.
You don’t have to be rich to make a woman feel cared for. Sometimes, effort speaks louder than money. Look for ways to provide, to protect, to make her feel like she’s your priority.
And if you really must collect from her in tough times, let it be temporary. Don’t make it your habit.
Final Words
Love is action. Love is sacrifice. Love is looking at your partner and saying, “How can I make life easier for you?” not “How can I get more from you?”
Ladies, stop making excuses for men who drain you. A man who truly loves you will look for ways to take care of you even when it’s hard. And men, if you truly love her, prove it with care, not just words.
Because at the end of the day, “I love you” without responsibility is just a sentence and noise to the hearing and a relationship without balance is just slow heartbreak.
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