Life and Relationship

 

Another name for life is relationship. Or relationship means life - it can also be said like this. People live their lives through various types of relationships. Relationships with family members, relatives, friends, colleagues, sympathizers and many other such human relationships play an almost predestined role in human life. Is that all? Relationships are established with the material world as well. Haven't I developed a relationship with the beloved pen with which I write? Otherwise, why do I feel uncomfortable writing without it? Why do I always sit in a specific chair at the dining table even when all the other chairs are empty! It's not like someone has specifically assigned that chair to me! The cup I drink tea in, the glass I drink water in, the plate I serve rice on, the pillow I put on my head while sleeping, the watch I wear, the shop I buy cigarettes from - I have developed a relationship with all of these. Or should I say that I have developed a kind of habit with them? And that's why the absence or exception of any of them creates discomfort in me!  What is another name for relationship, then, is it habit? Life means relationship and relationship means habit! Is life then the practice of various habits? Even if it is, there is a specific reason behind it.

 

1. The glass on my desk in the office is broken. It has been broken for a long time. I do not change it. It goes without saying that in that well-decorated office, that broken glass is quite incongruous and eye-catching. Still, why don't I change it? I do not change it, because just as the broken glass in that gorgeous institution is incongruous, dull, misfit - I am also incongruous, dull, misfit there. As if both of us are mocking the nobility of the institution by making fun of it.

 

I find my own similarity with the broken glass, I have a feeling of Maya for it - that is why I cannot change it.

 

Once I saw my mother crying because a very old glass broke. The price of that glass was not that high, and my mother certainly did not cry thinking about the price.  Surely, my mother had many memories with it. And it was these memories that created the relationship.

 

This is how people form relationships with the material world.

2. Many relationships of man are predestined or given by nature. Apart from mother-father-brother-sister-relatives, he does not choose any of the country and society in which he is born. Nature gives him these relationships. Whether he considers them valuable or not, even if they become a burden to him, he has nothing to do, because something given by nature cannot be denied in the end. A man can at best escape from them and get temporary freedom - that is what escapists do, but it is not possible for him to let go completely. Or who knows, because given by nature, they are of less value to man because they are easy to get - it is human nature that he wants to achieve something or the other, because the joy in achieving is not the joy in easy getting. And so man does not limit himself to these relationships. Throughout his life, he builds various relationships, and even gets involved in many relationships by chance. The two best relationships invented by man are love and friendship. Of course, all relationships can be defined by the word love.  Who is it love or friendship? Why does a person develop such a relationship with a specific person when there are thousands of other people? I think people actually fall in love with the person in whom they see themselves revealed.

Sometimes I think - people want to see themselves in the eyes of others throughout their lives. All their arrangements are made around this one thing. Why do I wear a beautiful shirt? I wear it because I think it will look good. But what is the problem if it doesn't look good? If it does, what is the advantage? Does it matter if it looks good or not? It does matter. I want to be praised by others. Even if I know that I am beautiful, it is not enough for me, I want to see myself in the eyes of others. If I don't get compliments from others' eyes, all my beauty fades and fails. Why do I want to buy the most beautiful set when buying a tea cup? Because I want to hear compliments on my taste from the guest I serve tea in that cup. People are like that - they revolve around themselves without knowing it.

 

Love is also like that.  I want someone, I fall in love with someone who has the things I like, who I can see myself in when I look into their eyes.

 

3. When people fall in love, they become stupid - this is a very common saying. Why does everyone say this? Is it because when they fall in love, the lover behaves in ways that do not suit them, which do not go with their intelligence and personality! Probably so. But why does he behave like this? Because then he becomes innocent. The deeper the love, the more emotional and unaccountable - and the person in love, the more innocent. I read somewhere - the reason why a person wants to return to his childhood throughout his life is because he has a desire to return to simplicity, a desire to be innocent. Childhood means simplicity, innocence and ease. As he grows older, the more complexity increases, the burden increases - life becomes increasingly complex and heavy, people become burdensome creatures. People affected by complications therefore want to return to childhood, where they seek refuge in an extraordinary simplicity. But can one return to childhood even if they want to? No. And that is where love plays a very effective role.  Love takes people back to the simplicity, ease, and innocence of childhood and adolescence.

 

But where can such love be found? Now, in this materialistic era, love means reckoning, marriage, family, property, social status, etc. Love finds no escape in the midst of these reckonings. Like other complications in life, love appears as a terrible complication. There is no more emotion, no more enthusiasm, no more excitement, no more joy - only reckoning is what keeps the head awake. Two people, pointing their thumbs at the bloodshot eyes of society, no longer find the motivation within themselves to walk side by side.

 

4. People want to define all relationships with some name or the other. They do not believe in the multidimensionality of relationships, they do not have trust, or they do not understand the multidimensionality of relationships. As a result, if they do not give a name, they feel uncomfortable and uneasy. But whenever a relationship is given a name, it is limited, the possibility of adding a new dimension to the relationship is lost. The relationship becomes fixed, fixed.

 

However, the relationship itself is changing, evolving. It is not something that stands still. Relationships constantly change their nature, their nature changes - if they do not change, they become habits. This is the difference between a relationship and a habit. Relationships are evolving, changeable, with the potential to add new dimensions, while habits are fixed, unchanging, and boring.

 

The reason why people want to give a name to relationships may be that they believe in the uniqueness of relationships, find comfort in it - they want to bring the relationship to a resolution, to tie it to a definition.

 

 Yet unresolved relationships are beautiful, even though they are painful. Undefined relationships are potential, even though they are difficult to bear. But this pain, this suffering is also sweet. Who knows why people don't want to experience even sweet suffering!

5. Despite having so many relationships, why do some people feel so lonely? Why do some people feel-

 

Finally, I have come to know that people are alone!

 

I have come to know that people are very strange and alone even to their own chin.

 

But doesn't any relationship ultimately provide ultimate shelter to people?

 

Some people may find shelter in someone, can reveal themselves to a great extent, can talk freely about their sorrows, pains, laments, hardships and the pain of not getting, about their happiness, joy, achievement and excitement. These are generous and open-minded people, they trust and love the person they are related to - so they do not hesitate to reveal themselves.

 

But the problem is with introverted people, who are naturally incapable of disclosure. They keep almost everything about themselves secret, do not reveal almost anything or cannot do it. Maybe they do not consider or cannot trust a person to tell them everything, they cannot completely trust anyone.  Introverted people are good friends of others because they talk less and listen more, but they themselves do not find any friends. Most of their words remain unsaid, they are endangered and burned by the pain of not being able to express themselves - nothing gives them relief. There are no more helpless people like them in the world. Relationships are two-sided - they do not understand it, or even if they understand it, they are always reluctant to show themselves due to their nature. This nature of theirs is more given by nature than self-made - that is why they are sad-alone-endangered by nature.

 

But both these types of people keep some things secret for their entire lives. Some pains, insults, suffering and pain are never told to anyone. People have to keep many such things in the secret chambers of their hearts and die!

 

So how far are these people? All these huge creations, discoveries and successes - so many songs, so many poems, so many stories and novels, so much philosophy, the unimaginable triumph of science, so many thoughts, theories and facts about psychology and so much more, yet people still have not learned to create something that is as transparent as a mirror, in front of which one can see oneself completely, to which one can tell everything about oneself, without having to leave with the pain of not being able to say much.

 

I think - relationships are the most important thing in human life. Until people learn to build such a relationship, they will not be free.

 

 

 

 

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