Aita

I'm having an AITA moment.

I don't mean this as morbid, I'm NOT planning on going anywhere.

I need to rant a little, need unbiased opinions.

I'm 59. 4 years post op. I recently chose to prepay for my cremation. I was very thankful that my parents had made this decision since my mom passed 6 months after my dad, and I do not want my son to have to bear the cost. I had a discussion with my cousin tonight. We used to be crazy close, but have severely drifted over the past 4 years (a lot due to being ghosted during active treatment). She stated she wanted to be the one to write my obituary. I told her I didn't want an obituary, and those who would need to know would, and explained I felt no need for a public broadcast - friends and family that kept in touch would know. She called me selfish. She then went on to say she would plan my Celebration of Life. I again declined for the same reason and joked that I'd have margaritas on standby for anyone who came to visit while I was alive but didn't feel the need to pay for a post-mortem party. She said I was "bitter". I'm now questioning this...

Background: I was my grandma's caretaker at the end of her life, holding her hand as she passed. Few came to visit her but they packed the church. When dad passed (10 days in the hospital watching his heart give out), not one of his siblings called nor did they call to check on mom. Mom's brother came up the last 2 days of her life, spent time with her, but his wife chose to avoid talking with mom. They left early the morning after mom's death, and the wife helped herself to mom's clothes. Mom's other siblings ghosted, but told many in the small town mom grew up in. Mom had some nice talks with old schoolmates before she passed yet not her own family.

I feel justified in my choices. I see this as hypocrisy and won't play that game. She sees it as bitterness. I don't want drama in this. I want things to be the easiest on my son, but now I'm questioning my choices and the reasons behind them.

AITA??

Edited: My son and I are close. He knows where all my paperwork is. He says he will support my decisions. I've moved a lot as both child and adult  (military family, married a military man, and upon his discharge we moved to his hometown) and friends and family are spread all over the globe. I do not want an obituary in the local paper as I do not want my exhusband trying to get money from my son or hassling him in any means. My son and I work for the same company and he knows who I am close to there. My cousin lives in a town where I have two college friends whom she has met once or twice. This town is 1000 miles from where my son and I live.